Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27:14

We are still working on our home study paperwork as well as waiting for our appointments for Psych evaluations, Expectations consultation with the agency (not sure what that even is!) and our physicals.  We can’t turn any of the paperwork in until those appointments are completed and the doctors submit the paperwork to the agency. That means more waiting….

[Insert Jeopardy “think” music here]

Now Y’all know how I feel about waiting…… Of course I remind myself again and again about Abraham in the Bible.  He trusted God and waited faithfully, and 25 years later, God was faithful to him and gave him a son. Now that’s some serious faith and patience right there…….

And we are not even through our homestudy yet!! 

I TRUST GOD, it is that simple. However, I have to learn to trust him to the point that I am no longer anxious.  Waiting and trusting go hand in hand, what a valuable lesson our God is teaching me!! 

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like Eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

Dear Heavenly Father,  I have asked you to direct my path, please give me the patience to stand on your promises.  Strengthen me as I wait.  I trust you and I will follow your lead.  In Jesus’ precious name, Amen. 

My sweet daughters.....

Just a note about my girls…..

I don’t know who does and who doesn’t know, so I am just going to put it out there all over again.  I have one bio DD who is 13 (I will refer to her as DDC) and one Step DD who is 15 (almost 16, refer to her as DDM).  These young ladies (my little girls) mean the world to me! 

They are very excited to become big sisters.  I have to say that I couldn’t have picked better big sisters.  DDM is already a big sister to DDC, and she is fiercely protective of her. NO ONE messes with her little sister!  I have seen DDM get mad at me when I have disciplined DDC in the past….that is how protective of her she is.   DDC has always been the little sister, so this will be her first older sibling experience, but if she is anything like her big sister, and she is, she is going to be an awesome big sister! 

Now, when these 2 girls are together, it is like no one else in the world exists.  They are so wrapped up in each other, giggling, talking, tell each other secrets, and sharing stories.  I have 3 sisters, so I know how it works.  When I was young, my sisters and I fought quite often.  My girls rarely fight.  I am REALLY blessed and I know it!! 

I want nothing but the best for them. I want them to grow up to be strong, confident, courageous, independent, Christian young ladies.  Among being all of those things, I also expect them to be respectful.  It is ok to disagree, or have your own opinion, but it is not OK to be hateful or angry.

I remind them quite frequently, I am NOT your friend, I am your Mom.  I do not care if you like me, but you will respect me.  They always know what to expect from me.  As much as I said growing up, “I will NEVER treat my kids the way MY mom treated me…”

***Here it goes…..

I have become my mother….

And I could NOT be more proud!  What an awesome role model I had…And guess who is my friend now?? My Mama!  When I need advice, I call her.  She raised 4 daughters, so she knows the drill pretty well!  

Even if we are not able to adopt, I can truly say that I have known all the joys of motherhood because of these two girls.  They both have big hearts and big dreams.  I am so incredibly proud of them and the way they handle themselves. 

I Love my daughters!!!!! 

Dear Heavenly father, I pray that my children always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions.  Please clothe them with the virtue of compassion. Let love and faithfulness never leave them, but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablets of their hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Orientation was a success!

Friday we attended our orientation with the adoption agency. I was SO prepared to feel overwhelmed, but I feel even more peace about our decision to go with this agency.  You all know how I feel about birthmother's, and this agency has such an amazing ministry for birthmom's regardless of whether they decide to parent thier child or place it with another family.  No matter what the decision this agency offers them a lifetime of counseling.......at no charge!  Isn't that AWESOME?  What a way to bless these mothers. 

We left our house early to drive down to Nashville, so that we would have enough time to stop and grab some breakfast.  We stopped about 3 minutes from the church that was hosting orientation.  I wolfed my breakfast down and then sat there, ever so patiently ;) while my DH SLOWLY ate his breakfast.....I was so anxious to get there and make sure we had a seat up front.  Of course we were about 15 minutes early, and I was able to grab the oh so coveted front table....Ahhhh....breathe...seriously, I had to remind my self to breathe.
Now, to those who know me they will tell you that I am goofy, fun, outgoing and quite personable. However, itinitially, I am kind of quite and shy.  We had another couple (whom I will refer to as the Nix) that sat at the table with us, and they were so incredibly nice.  Mrs. Nix introduced herself and her husand to me, (first, of course, because I was just gonna sit there like a bump on a log!).  Once the orientation started, all the couples in the room had the opportunity to introduce themselves. There were approximately 15 couples.  So it started out with several different people who were in different adoptive situations, the adoptee, the adoptive parents, adoptee adoptive parents, international adoptions, special needs, and even embryo adoptions.  It was all very informative and it covered so many different aspects.  I loved it!  I like to hear people tell stories, so this was a treat for me. 

When we took a break for lunch, Mr and Mrs Nix asked us to join them.  We headed over to the Cracker Barrel and had an awesome lunch.  The food was good and the company was great!  They too are homeschoolers, and that is awesome for me, because I have no other friends in this area that I can talk to about homeschool.  I really enjoyed talking about the adoption and what we had learned that morning in the orientation. 

After lunch we went back to the church for the afternoon session of the orientation. It began with a little Q & A with the social workers.  We then received our homestudy paperwork....UGHHHH.....it is alot!!  We have to have quite a bit done for this package.  We have no due date though, it is all in our own time.  We reviewed all the paperwork in the package as a group.  We also have required reading.  They gave us a list of books and said we have to read 3.  We bought one at the orientation.  I narrowed the rest of the list down to four.  I could not pick only two out of the four, so I bought all four.....!!!! I have come to the realization that my little expandable file I bought for this journey is just not going to work.  I am already busting out of it....Oy vey! 

We are still praying and seeking God every step of the way through out this process.  We can not do this with out his hand guiding us every step of the way.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.   Proverbs 3:5-6

Patient Anticipation

Up till now, I been hurry up and waiting......

That's how I feel about it anyway!  We have our orientation this Friday!!  I am SO looking forward to going to this thing.  I am not sure exactly what it will be about, but it is an all day thing.  I have a funny feeling some of the stuff they cover will be an eye opener for DH.  I have done so much reading and educating myself on the adoption process, I don't think I will be very surprised. 

I took Chey to meet her dad in Northern, KY this weekend.  That is the 1/2 way point between my house and his house in Michigan.  She was excited to see him, but she has a hard time being away from home. She is such a little homebody, and I love it!  She likes her space, her things, her bed, etc.  Even when she goes to stay overnight at a friends house, she is calling me early the next morning to see when I will be coming to pick her up.  She text me several times a day and also calls me.  She is a Mama's girl, no doubt about it.  I struggle watching her growing up and being more and more independent. My heart swells with such pride at the young lady she is becoming. But then it hurts too because I never want her to leave me. 

DH and I worked on moving some new furniture into our bedroom this weekend, and moving the old stuff out.  I am already feeling the urge to start getting ready for the homestudy.  I feel several lists coming on....!  I get my list making skills from my mama.  We make lists for our lists...lol...My DH is gonna probably flip out when he sees the lists I am going to make.  Right now, they are just kind of rambling around in my head, but they will be in black and white soon enough!  Oh Joy!!  :)

I have been continuing to pray for birthmothers.  It is so near and dear to my heart that sometimes I think about them and I just get all teary eyed.  There are many things about this adoption that I am not sure of.  But the one thing I am positive of is that I want an open adoption.  DH says he doesn't mind, but I think he is a little nervous about it. I have joined an adoption forum website, and the forums about birthparents makes me realize how strong of a bond adoptive parents have with them.  The adoptive parents on this website are SO protective of their children's birthparents. The birth mom especially!  I look forward to having that bond one day! 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12 NIV

This is my Mama....

Proverbs 31 Wife she is.....

The Virtuous Wife

¹⁰ Who^[b] can find a virtuous^[c] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
¹¹ The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
²⁰ She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
²² She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
²⁵ Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷ She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Working on our Service Plan

I am feeling pretty excited today....Our reference letters have all gone out for personal and employment. 

I am anxiously awaiting the Orientation next week.  I think once we finish that I will really feel like we are moving forward on a more consistent basis. 

We started working on our service plan this week, which is basically a questionarre to help us start thinking about what we do/do not want in a child/birthparents.  I am finding that my husband and I are having a little trouble navigating these difficult discussions.  We have been able to mediate our own  arguments discussions by listening to what the other person has to say and not discrediting the value of their input. The problem is that I am extremely passionate and quick to my feet when it comes time for decisions.  I lead with my heart and run full steam ahead into things that I am passionate about.  My darling Roger?....He needs more passion......

*Sigh*

I have so much love and respect for my husband.  He is logical, loving and firm.  He does not make decisions without careful consideration.  His voice of reason is an important part of my decision making. 

I do appreciate his insight, and I will continue to pray that God will have his way through out this entire process.  What we have is a partnership and we have to be united on our decisions for this adoption.

They are BIG ones.   

Waiting and waiting some more

I hate WAITING!  Roger told me last night, "You can be SO impatient sometimes!"  And I know this.  For the most part, I am patient, however, right now.......not so much.  I want to go to the orientation and start the homestudy so that we can get on the waiting list.  2 weeks and 1 day, thats how long until we have the orientation.  It seems like forever....!!!  I remember being 13 years old and thinking about how I would be 30 years old in 17 years. THAT seemed like FOREVER.  Unfortunately that was not the case....30 came and went pretty quickly.  I know that this time shall pass quickly as well.....I just wish it would hurry UP! 

We have so much excitement in our house right now.  We are talking about baby names, what if it's a boy, what if it's a girl.....Good stuff.  We just can't wait to have that precious baby in our arms. 

We have told most people in our families now.  Roger's dad and mom were so excited!  My mother in law said....how long before you have a baby.  I was explaining to her that the wait AFTER approval was apx 18 months to 4 years.  She said,"We can't wait that long, I'll be old!"  Bless her heart, she so excited to be a grandma again.  It feels so amazing to be surrounded by the loving family that we have, and to know that they support us.

We are abundantly blessed and highly favored!! 

“The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you,
 And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
      And give you peace.”’  Numbers 6:24-26