I'm a Goof!

So I mailed out our initial application for domestic adoption today!  YAY!!  not quite yet.....I was so serious as I made copies of everything, stuffed the originals in the envelope, placed a stamp on the envelope, prayed over the envelope.  Then I realized OH no.....I didn't put the forms in the correct order!  Well, the adoption agency has never had to deal with forms out of order before right? And they would never give a baby to someone who can not put forms in the correct order!  So I neatly cut the envelope order, put them in the "correct" order, and alas....the beautiful perfect envelope was ready to be mailed out.  I joyfully skipped out to the mail box and back to my office, feeling excited and emotional of course.  I have gone about my day on cloud nine knowing that we are taking our first major step in the adoption process. 

Then I started to worry about finances again, but I said to myself, "God's work done his way, will never lack his funds" As I was thinking all of this, I started making a mental list in my head, $50 with the initial application, $550 for the formal application, $2000 homestudy fee......WAIT, $50 initial application fee!!!????? I FORGOT TO PUT THAT CHECK IN MY ENVELOPE TODAY!!!!   I thought I was gonna have a nervous breakdown.  Well, if not having forms in order was gonna make the adoption agency doubt my parenting ability then this will push them over the edge! 

So I called the office manager and I was ready to cry.  Bless her heart, she must have know because she was so sweet and she told me not to snail mail it that she would send me a secure link to pay on line with my credit card.  Whew!!...I think I dodged a bullet...Haha! 

I still have no idea how we are going to make the finances work, but all I can hear is, "I AM WHO I AM".  It is in GOD's hands and he will put all the pieces together as time goes on.  I have complete faith in him. 

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.  Proverbs 16:9


     

About those Birthmoms......

We had our first meeting with the adoption agency last night and all I can say is AAAHHHHHHH!!!  It was all I had expected and more!  I was so full of emotions, just thinking about the whole process and that attending this meeting was our first step.  Now we will be filling out our initial application, which just basically covers who lives in our home as well as the agencies Statement of Faith.  It was important to us that we use Christian agency, not just for us, but for our baby (and all the babies) and the birth parents.  As a mama myself, I could not imagine the heartache and struggle one must go thru when considering adoption for your unborn child. It is important that these women are exposed to the Love of Christ as they take this journey.  The agency we chose counsels and supports these women thru the process all the while, ministering to them. 

Let's talk about birthmom's for a minute.  I found out that the average age for them is 25-35, WOW!  I have always pictured young high school girls with no support, but it is quite the opposite.  These ladies usually already have at least one child and they know that they can't provide for another.  So they do the very unselfish thing and give that child to a couple who can provide for it.  How much easier would it be for her to have an abortion?  She doesn't have to carry, give birth to or bond with the baby...She doesn't have to wonder what people will think, because they will more than likely not even know. But if she has the baby and gives it up, she will most likely go throuch all of those things on some level.  She has no monetary gain for giving this child up for adoption. However, these women CHOOSE to give these precious little babies life. A life that she may or may not be apart of. What an amazing, brave, noble woman it takes to do this!  These women are not rejecting their children, they love them so much that they want to give them a life they know they can not provide.  The pain they must feel in their hearts letting go of that little bundle for the last time...... 

I know that God has already picked out our birth mom, and I have started praying for her.  I hope that she knows the Lord and has the peace and love of our God in her heart. 


The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face to shine upon thee and be gracious unto thee; the Lord lift up His countenance upon thee and give thee peace.  Numbers 6:24-26 

Heavenly Father, I come to you in prayer for birthmothers who feel helpless and alone during pregnancy and after birth.  Thank you for being their Comforter, their Light and the One who heals their sorrow. Hold them in your arms, wash away their tears, and reward them for their sacrifice.  Give them confidence to know that their child will be taken care of and embraced with the kind of love they would have given their child.  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

I miss my little one

Today I was listening to my friend at work mothering her sick four year old over the phone.  The little girl woke up not feeling great and has been sleeping alot.  As a mom who knows her little one, she said to her nanny, "When she wakes up just give her Motrin, because she's gonna need it".  I remember those days with Chey, and it makes me wonder if I will ever have the opportunity to have that mothering experience again.  It's not that I miss my child being sick,  it's just that amazing connection a mommy has with her baby.  You can take one look at your child's face across the room and just know how they feel, or if they are uncomfortable....and Swoop..!  Here comes mommy to fix it, and make it all better!  I can still do that a little bit with Chey, but it is different.  She is becoming her own person and figuring out how to make herself comfortable. She is needing me less and less every day it seems.  She will be 13 in 18 days, THIRTEEN.  That makes her a teenager.....ugh.... 

All right Life, here is where it stops, this is not working for me.  I want my baby back!  I know she has to grow up, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. 

I know God has a plan for everything and I will continue to have faith in his plan for me!
 
Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in him and he shall bring it to pass.  Psalm 37:5

Father, thank You for Your faithfulness to answer me when I call for help, even when your plan looks different than my expectations

Happy Thanksgiving!

It is Turkey week!  I love Turkey and I would eat it more often, but my dear hubby doesn't like it as much as I do.  I made a Turkey on Sunday (for my work party on Monday), and he took one look at that bird and said, "Are we gonna have turkey EVERY day this week?!"  I couldn't help but laugh, because he sounded so stressed out over it! 

This time next week we will be getting ready to head down to our informational meeting at the adoption agency.  I am excited and nervous.  I am getting more concerned about the cost of adoption and afraid that it will be beyond out reach financially.  I am concerned that our age is going to deter a birth mother from choosing us.  Then of course since I have already let the devil play with my mind he starts making me question my parenting abilities.  But then of course, my precious Lord whispers, "Be anxious for nothing!"  Thank you Heavanly Father for being there always!!  You are more faithful to me then I am to myself.  

  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7

Where to Begin?!

I do not know where to begin!  This is supposed to be about our adoption journey, but I am sure that the rest of our life will fall into it as well.  My name is Stephanie  Miller, and YES, I am married to THE Roger Miller.  When people here my husbands name they say "THE Roger Miller??" Well, yes!  To me he is THE Roger Miller!  My husband is wonderful, amazing, loving, compassionate and everything in between .  He is an amazing father to our 2 daughters and he is an outstanding husband to me.  I love and appreciate him more than I can ever tell or show him. He is truly a gift from God and he is my best friend.

We have two wonderful daughters.  Morgan who is 15, she is Roger's from his first marraige, and Cheyenne who is 13 is mine from my first marraige.  They are both great girls, who love each other like real sisters.

My husband and I decided to have a baby about 6 months ago.  We were going to start trying in spring 2012.  I have a history of stage 4 endometriosis, so I went to the doctor to see if I could even concieve, and I found out that the only Fallopian tube I have is 100% blocked.  We were devastated.  BUT we knew God would not prepare our hearts and minds if he did not have a plan for us. 

I first thought of adoption and I was SO scared  to bring it up to Roger.  I am not sure why, but I was.  But finally he told me, it had been on his heart too.  God Bless my husband, he was praying right along side of me for the same thing!  After much research and prayer, we have found the agency that we are planning on using.  We have an informational meeting that we are attending on Tuesday, November 29.  We are so excited.....and nervous.  But this is just the first step, and it is a small one in finding our precious little baby. 

SO, with all of that being said...

I guess this is where I begin..........