Baby Stuff and still waitng

The last few months have been Crazy busy around the Miller household. (Notice the capital "C" in crazy....it's been that crazy!) We have been busy with work, church, family, friends and just life in general.  I don't normally like to be that busy, but it has really helped to keep my mind off of the waiting part of the adoption.  Of course, that also means, I have not been blogging or advertising either.

Sorry.

But now I am back!!  I know you have all be anxiously waiting for me, right?

Anyhow, I feel pretty prepared for this baby.  When our home study was first approved, I was in this crazy, intense mood of collecting what I had labeled the "must haves".  The "must haves" are anything that we would need to care for a baby right now.  For example, if by some miracle someone called and said, "Come get this baby, right now" what would we need to make that happen?  

Here is what we have so far:

 Car seat and stroller - (these came together) I love the pattern, it is little white circles with what looks like Crayon scribble circles inside.

 Here is a close up of the pattern:

 
Here is a pic of the car seat:

 Playpen/bassinet - (it matches the car seat and stroller)

 
Swing - a friend from work gave me a swing and we love it!  It is super cute! 

 
My family cradle – my grandmother bought this for my mom when she was pregnant with my older sister.  My siblings and I all slept in it as infants, as well as all of our children.  I am so excited to be able to use it again.

 I also have the following :

 Receiving blankets

Fleece blankets

Burp cloths

T-shirts

Blanket sleepers

Footed sleepers

Nasal aspirator

Nail clippers

First aid kit

Thermometer

I don't have a ton of these items, but enough to get us started.  I do not have pacifiers, diapers, formula or bottles.  These are things that we can stop at Walmart and get on the way home with the baby. However, I will probably get some diapers in the next month or so, I am just watching the prices on them to see where is the best place to buy them.  Not all diaper's are created equal.  My daughter only wore Pampers and the new sweet baby will only wear Pampers too.

I feel like we have quite the little stash going!  I am trying to be as prepared as possible, so that I am not sitting here with a baby, realizing I need a TON of stuff! 

I think we are going to be off to a good start!

As always my friends, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  We are always praying and seeking God to make sure that we are making the right moves. 

Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.

Psalm 119:105

Perfect timing....again

 

Several months ago, I bought some receiving blankets and I really liked them.  I wanted to get some more, so earlier this week I was at Walmart and grabbed another package of them.  As I was going through the checkout, the cashier asked, “How old is your baby?”  I responded that I didn’t have a baby yet.  She then asked if I was expecting, and I told her that we were looking to adopt a baby.  Upon hearing this she clapped her hands together and exclaimed, ”Oh you’re blessed!”  I was kind of shocked, but tickled….I honestly had not expected to hear that. 

We started talking about the different types of adoption and the fact that I am in my late thirties wanting an infant.  (Apparently, wanting an infant at my age is crazy!) It was a very light hearted conversation and I enjoyed telling her a little of our story.  By end of our conversation, the next customer was in line behind me. I said good bye, picked up my shopping bags and as I turned to leave, I hear her say, “Oh Ma’am?” I turned bag to look at her and said, “Yes?” She caught me so off guard when she said, “I hope you get your gift soon!” 

I didn’t even get to the exit before the tears came down.

I remembered this Bible verse:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows   James 1:17

God put her in my path to remind me that all gifts come from him, in his time.  He is in control and he is faithful. 

Types of Adoption

I have been meaning to get around to this post for several months now, so here it is.

For those of you that are not familiar with adoption, there are 3 different types of adoption; Closed, Semi-open, and Open.  I have listed them along with a brief explanation below.

Closed Adoption - The adoptive family and the birth parents have little or no contact before the birth.  They have no contact at all after the birth of the baby.  I have found that most agencies still require updates and pictures of the baby for the first few years, even if the adoption is closed.  I believe they do this because most birth parents will eventually want an update on how the baby is doing. If that is the case, the agency has the information and pictures readily available. I personally do not want a closed adoption, but I do know people who have them.  It seems to me that if the birth parents suddenly wanted an update and the adoptive parents had to provide it that they would feel anxious/worried about the birth parent wanting to be in the child’s life. It would create a sense of insecurity in them.  I think that if someone is going to have a closed adoption that sending the agency updates and pictures several times a year would help the birth parents knowing that they are there when they are ready for an update. 

Up until the last 20 years, almost all adoptions were closed.  So, for the birth parents it was as if their child disappeared in to a black hole, they had no knowledge of the baby’s life.  For the adoptive parents it was as if the baby just dropped down from the sky, they had no knowledge of the baby’s history.  This just seems so foreign to me.  I can't imagine never having the opportunity to at least speak with my child's birth parents. I want to have some contact with the people who will have given me the most precious gift anyone could give. 

Semi-open – A form of adoption that is intentionally designed to be a combination of a more traditional closed adoption and a more progressive open adoption, with the emphasis being on the "privacy" of all parties, rather than on "confidentially." Direct communication after the adoption is more limited, in the fashion that is agreed by the parties to be beneficial for everyone. Last names, addresses, and telephone numbers are usually not exchanged, while the sharing of photographs or other information for an agreed frequency and duration is common. All communication takes place through a third party, which is usually an adoption agency, an adoption attorney or a designated intermediary.

I would be ok with this type of adoption.  I would prefer some contact as opposed to no contact at all. 

Open – This one is a little trickier.  There seems to many different definitions of open adoption.  Some agencies/attorneys classify a semi-open adoption the same as an open.  I personally feel they are not the same.  In an open adoption, the initial contact is made through an agency or attorney.  However, the relationship between birth parents and adoptive parents is progressive It is progressive because they develop a trust and boundaries that allow them to comfortable exchange personal information.  Because they maintain contact outside of the agency/attorney, they usually coordinate their own visits. 

This is the type of adoption I am praying for.  I would love to be able to freely exchange pictures and information with the baby’s birth family.  I feel that it is critical for the baby as well as the birth family to have contact.  It will help the birth family see that the baby is loved and cared for, and it will help the baby to know where they came from. 

I have spent so much time reading about the different types of adoption and trying to educate ourselves on the process.  When I read the stories of families that are in successful open adoptions, it really warms my heart. 

I pray that one day my family will be the ones sharing our story with the world. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.   Romans 8:28

 Keep praying for us dear friends!